I tend to hate myself a little more aft each major argument or incident i had with colleagues or friends. thank god it dun happened everyday, but it has accumulated over the yrs, and now i think it's begining to decay my soul. and wat's worse - i can see n feel the decay. it's painful... no. it's not the argument itself. but alot of "i shd hv avoided it/ shd hv done tt/ it's my fault" thing. i knw its not healthy, but like everyone say "u need to knw how to cover ur own arse". but i'm simply too short-sighted and always run into faults. can someone juz tell me wat's wrong with me?? u knw? i've been fallin-down, got up, tell myself it's ok, but i fell again, n again. its a vicious cycle. how do i break thru??
- wld changing a new job environment help? i dunno.
- if i ever go, is it a form of escaping? maybe.
- maybe i've lost my passion
- maybe training industry is not whr i wanna be
- i knw, i shd take my degree n upgrade myself... but
- but i reali hate to study. those Statistics & Finance & Econs! Gimme a break... maybe a Dip in some sort of Art/Fashion
- wait, i reali wan to start some cafe with my friends too. but i need to reali plan out this big dream which need big capital
bear with me, but these are the thots tht ran thru my mind again n again everyday. Fear maybe. of failure, of risks of "what-if"s. Damn. Just how do u knw what u want?
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