In office now - was feeling a bit .. not so balanced lo. Think i better:

1) improve myself - read a lot of books, gain alot of knowledge, so tht I know how to handle situations and be more confident!!

2)or be a goody-2-shoes: stay lovely and take all the SHIT I need not to.. not tht i'm being bully or wat.. jus tht my indecisive character has not brought me very far. I need to pick up good good good negotiation skills, be firm and get things done!

...AARRRGGHHH!!! wat the hell is taking pl in me now? so frustrated! ... can feel the my sleeve spliting and my throat turning green n thick..!
hulking ..

had my 27th birthday las thurs.. well, maybe u shd tell mi how i shd feel. i'm no difference now fr what 5 yrs ago - cash at bank is stil low, i hvn't been able to go to alot of places, i hvnt been able to give me parents and family quite a lot of "xiang shou" yet... sigh. tell me wat to think lo... almost 30 liao, m stil the same.

and i hvnt been able to focus on my job recently. dunno y. cant seems to perform as well as when i'm a temp... if stil no improvement, boss sure can see one... n i wun forgive myself.

anyway... have a gd day... jus another day.

had a meeting w my new director for operations today... something he said struck me .. and i wan to record this down and share it: he say when a worm's growing to a larva, then to cocooning itself before becoming a butterfly, it hv to squeeze itself out of it's shell? ... if ever someone's to go prick the shell or cocoon open, the larva wil not grow muscles and fly... the process of struggle n squeezing is essential for it to grow, so that i'll eventually become a beautiful butterfly n fly high..

i think...i'll squeeze thru too...i'll.

do u think being alone is not quite rite? y muz i get a someone? ... is it true tht if i dun get a partner by 35 i'll become some strange old maid? ... hey friend, i think i am doing fine lo... guess maybe i knw i may feel lost n lonely aft any break-up, i knw i do not need one tht wil help to prove me rite.

sometimes, don't you think, it's reali tired to be the one taking initiative all the time.

i think i'm getting tired... but i stil love them. i stil love my friends. so what if i'm tired? i know i'll stop making the first move to call n gather them only when i dun care anymore. sigh... back to square one. i care.

xmas is coming. i wan to meet a lot more friends, but, i hope i had more substance in my bank account man. there's a lot more places i want to go nex yr, i think i better do something abt it ...

rating for the day: 4 stars of 10. as moody as the weather.

i dun like to wait. i dun like to sit n sulk. i dun like to put my own happiness in other ppl's hand. i dun wan others to control how they can make me feel... i dun like. i dun like becoz i'm scared of losing. i'm scared of losing to others, of losing out to myself, to declared i'm defeated.

i gotta be strong. i have to.

ok, so this is my second attempt trying to post something on this is space .... keke.

erm... wanna thank gingershandy of coz, for her 'ho gai xiao' to this pl, i'm sure we'll all hv fun here!...certainly a gd pl to exchange some thots here!

and then.... as said in my previous posting, hv no particular thots yet, but am thankful of all the things tht i hv, all the friends tht i've got and.. well, am looking fwd to a more exciting n beautiful life!

.... umm, til my nex entry, u tae care n stay bo-chap!