3 more days to 30th

My 30th Birthday is coming. And the Cowz had come together for a dinner at the SanoBar at One Fullerton. The food was good. I reali like their Lebanese style salad, lamb chop. The entree was great too.


Together with this surprise dinner, came the news the M has broken off. We were still listening to her las week on how she's going to handling this difficult relationship she has with her divorcee boyfriend (plus his kid) and how he shd hv prioritise his time spend between his family and with M. She was obviously going thru great pressure. And recently, she begin to hide her hse crying over this relationship. She even start to breakdown in office. This is not healthy. But there's nothing we can do but give her full support as a friend.

A week later, the jerk initiated broke off. He's a smart guy. He know wat works & wat doesnt for him. Maybe he's rite, if this relationship is not something which he wld wan to put in efforts, he might as well end it sooner. "I dun want to see u suffer", that's wat he told her. Crap. He din even put in efforts to show tt he's committed to her! I dun think he loves M. M, who has committed 3 full yrs of youth & time & risking her relationship with her parents is on her own now. Still crying.

Although we know it's hard for her, we do think its a good start for M. At least, she is free to choose again. we will work hard to bring the good old gal back. Gal, u need to find ur self-value back. Dont be sorry if it doesnt work out. It's just the way things are...

Time Flies...

i was checking my emails e other day, and saw Mae replying one of Jess' email. She wrote something like,"... i reckon that i need to go for the op because me and JD is planning to start a family soon". wow. suddenly, i hv falsh back of Mae in her HIHS uniform, chatting wif other gals in the class during lessons interval. Mae then was stil like, "ah-lian" & playful lo. Jess too. hehe. And we all hv our O-levels to struggle with. And now, we have all gone this far. Angie has her plans & Jess is happily in love with Botak.

Peisong has receive the his precious princess Nikki yesterday. She is e first baby in our Boyz gp. She so little at 2.7 kg! ok, it's 2.756 kg. A bit early, supposed to come mid June, but she's healthy n pretty. looking at the couple, i saw tt unique parental sparkle in Peisong's n Susan's eyes... a child's birth is truely amazing. it changed a couple's life. they r now elevated to another phase in life. Congrats!

as we are moving along with time, i m also starting to worry abt my mum n my papa. i'm always guilty tt i hv not done enough. i'm not even spending enuf time wif them! i reali wanna bring them travel, i wan them to be healthy, i wanna buy a hse wif backyard for them to grow fruit trees & vege, n our family to sit ard to BBQ. n a baby perhaps. their own grandchild. i juz wan them to be here n happy. always.

looking at things happening ard me, it always struck me how powerless we are. wat r we all fighting for? many of my own fears are silly, too. we reali shouldnt be too worry abt what that hasnt happen. we shd all cherish n do wat we shd for now, for the present.

如果我们都是蚂蚁就好了

越来越不敢说出自己的感受。
一向都prefer收藏true feeelings 的我，
不知从什么时候开始，连日记也不写了。

她们说也许是我空闲了，爱胡思乱想，爱钻牛角尖。
只是，人生的checklist上，我没能打上几个勾。
你的呢？
常问自己：Is there anything I can celebrate abt myself?

我知道我是幸福的。
有爱我的家人，有许多的好友，
有稳定的工作，还时不时地能到处玩。
可是，我的人生到了这里，过了三十年，
我，该怎么往下走剩下的三十年、四十年呢？

唉。旁观者，你是不是也会说我自找的？
我想也是。
Checklist 是自己定的。
框框也是自己假想的。
如果不喜欢，那就擦掉再画新的吧!

如果我们都是蚂蚁就好了，不用像那么多。
只是，蚂蚁会不会也有烦恼啊？